If only time can turn back

this is gonna be an emo post,
but meant straight from my heart.

from the day you stepped into my life, everything had changed. the downs we conquered made us stronger and the ups we enjoyed tightened our bonds.

it was the many chapters of memories we accumulated that brought us to where we are today. 2 years & 8 months... definitely not a short time.

we broke the expectations others had on us -seeing the playful me- to much more than myself could imagine. fang predicted 6 months, yet we managed to multiply it by so many times.

feel the sense of achievement.
it is no easy thing, esp with all that we had to face.

then came the time for your recuitment.
you made me promise many times, that i will wait for you no matter what.
i promised, and i told myself i would see to it.

till POP, till ocs, till navy.. till now.
the meetups reduced greatly, so did the communication.
i truly treasured each rare time we could meet,
and unfailingly longed for the next.

these times are scarce and important to me.

then somehow your attitude became different.
the phone calls stopped and messages down to the least.
i understand the restrictions, constraints and i endured.
but i do know of times you could possibly spare, but you ignored.

that really came as a huge hurt.

while you are in there i have no idea of your life,
yet there is no updates i can hear of.
imagine how lost i felt.

i tried hard,
being the first one to start off then sometimes the last too.
but then it seemed like such a commonthing,
you already took it as a habit.

we scheduled a day,
and happily i drafted out a series of plans we could take..
then it is always till the last moment,
things would end up to disappoint.

i tried my best to understand,
i know army life is not easy.
i said its ok, there is always a next time.
but when the recent case struck again, the pain doubled.

things got colder from your side.

i tried to inform, to let you know how i felt.
i took the risk the remind, to express but not to nag.
i attempted to clear things out,
all for our better future.

but did you give me the attention?
i really hoped so.

you're already an important pillar of my life.
letting go never comes across my mind.
so please don't let it be.

yes i know you sacrificed a big part on your side in the past,
but now we come to the current...
will you still do it for me again?

i really can't vouch for it.

yes i admit i'm lost.
i tried to repeat and show it for many times...
but the response is slow and passive.

i promise i'll keep the patience,
keep on with the faith, the hope...
and with the help of God.

if we survive through this,
i'm confident of a much longer journey.
you think i didn't give a damn?
you are wrong.
i am really concerned about this.

this can't drag on.
there must be some action plan made,
or things would crumble.

i promise i won't ask for much.
i know your constraints, i understand your plight.
all i want is a little more concern
a little more attention
just like how it was in the past.

i have done all i can,
and i promise i will continue to try.
continue to see to my promise.

but will you play your part?

please, please tell me you would.
show it. thankyou.